Caffeine and Solace

0710hrs. I dutifully opened the bulging file to the required page. My pen flew over the page, inking the blanks on auto-pilot mode. Abruptly, the pen tip screeched to a stop at the next blank. “Date” was what the column indicated.

My caffeine-deprived brain cranked the gears up a notch, to no avail. “Quickly! Today’s date!” My heart screamed. But my brain simply refused to spit out the date. My hand fumbled in my bag for a moment, eventually fishing out my mobile phone. My half-closed eyes scanned the lit screen. My brain registered the date – 23 April 2013. The pen continued the journey; the job was finally done.

0930hrs. The caffeine coursed through my blood, kicking my senses awake. Ah, the pleasure it brings. I am alive!

It then dawned upon me that the first 4 months of 2013 is almost gone, just like that. Is April really coming to an end already? Where did all the time go? Have I accomplished much during these 4 months? No, I did not change the world. My actions have not impacted anyone. All I succeeded in doing is surviving on less sleep; but in the process of sacrificing sleep, I could distribute my time among family, work and yet I manage to have time to myself.

Work is more manageable, but more time-consuming at the same time. Family is trickier – kids are more independent, but more challenging (and noiser!) at the same time. There is more to plan, and execute, for the family.

But time to myself is what I cherish, and appreciate, most. I find myself searching out corners in the house, when the kids have gone to bed, housework is done and communications are done, where I could be with myself. And I find myself craving the peace (and quiet) that is mine at the end of the day; where I could unwind before the need for sleep fills me with regret. And I would look forward to the same opportunity the next night.

Caffeine and solace. The two companions I have come to depend on, by day and by night…

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