You are officially 4 years old today. Finally, after proudly holding up 4 fingers and telling people you are 4 years old for more than 3 months now.
You are growing into a fine young lady, MaMa’s princess. A little girl with a big personality. And I am finding it more and more difficult to imagine letting you go, to live your independent life in 17 years. To me, you’ll always, always be my little girl.
You are a sensitive and perceptive girl. You can read facial expressions and body language very well. You know when MaMa is sad, and crying. You are very quick to show concern, to ask why. You give hugs and kisses so readily, the radiator in my heart is often switched on by you. You’re cheerful most of the time; you are so generous with your smiles. You try to wish me good morning when I have to leave home on early mornings. You shout out ‘Good night’, and ‘Sweet Dreams’ several times after you are tucked into bed at night. In your sweet, girly voice.
But you have a loud voice; you talk so loudly! Yet, you’re afraid of loud noises. Drums and cymbals drive you to cover your ears in panic and run crying, to me. You are afraid of the sound of the toilet flushing, running as fast as you can out of the toilet. Let you on a secret – MaMa used to run out of the toilet after pressing the flush too. You hide under the blanket and cry when there is thunder; I used to do that too.
Megan, you are so pretty inside. You never disturb us when you are the first to wake up in the morning. You visit the toilet, then go back to your own room quietly. You tend to keep your emotions to yourself though. I remember the occasion when BaBa would not let you sit on his lap, but almost immediately held a friend’s baby in his arms. You went quiet, but your mouth was turned down. You tilted your face downward, and silent tears fell from your eyes. You did not throw a tantrum nor kick up a fuss, nor even made a single sound, but you looked so hurt my heart was torn out. You know when we’re angry, and you volunteer “Sorry” quickly, because you understand we’re angry with the things you’ve done.
You love to view yourself in the mirror, checking your appearance, combing your hair, even tucking your short hair behind your ears, all the girly stuff! You love to choose your own clothes, and you especially love to wear dresses! But I think you’re the most adorable when you get out of bed, your hair tousled and flopping in the air with every unsteady step you take. Your eyes may be unfocused, but your smile is sweet and genuine.
You are so independent. You learned to do so many things yourself, just by observing unobtrusively. Being the second-born, you are sometimes ignored, but you don’t complain. You just observe, and you often surprise us by mastering the skills we don’t think you would be able to accomplish. Like learning to use the chopsticks, and climbing onto the toilet to poo, then cleaning yourself up. Putting on the seat belt, brushing your teeth, soaping yourself during bath times, and putting on moisturiser after showers, all by yourself! You will wonder off on your own in public, and I will worry too much, even when I let you go but keep you in sight. Too independent at times I must say! But I know I need to let go one day, so why not do it slowly now? However, although you are independent, you are still insecure at times. You cling to me and refuse to let me out of your sight in crowds and unfamiliar places. Do you know, although I get frustrated because you’re clinging to me so tightly that my movements are restricted, you actually make me feel needed and cherished, that you love and trust me enough to know I will protect you?
That’s you, picking up salted peanuts with your chopsticks and successfully sending the peanuts to your mouth!
Over the past year, you have had your Terrible, Terrible Three syndromes. You still don’t eat very dilligently during mealtimes; you drive us mad with your slowness, tendency to use your fingers instead of the cutlery, and messiness. You are motivated by food and always game to try new food. And you love to stuff your mouth full, then take your time to chew and savour the food. But we’re thankful you obey our instructions when we forbid certain foods. You also ask for permission when you want to eat anything, I take solace in your good discipline.
There are so many things to write about you, Megan. Because MaMa is so in love with you, and you have brought me so much joy and happiness.
My Princess, I hope you have a great day today, and that you may remember the time when you were 4 years old many, many years later. I will try my best to help you preserve your growing up memories, and I hope you will look back one day, and know that BaBa and MaMa love you with all our hearts.
Lastly, as with Bob Carlisle’s ‘Butterfly Kisses’,
“with all that I’ve done wrong,
I must have done something right
to deserve a hug every morning,
and butterfly kisses at night.”
Happy Birthday, my Princess Megan. I love you.