With age comes more responsibility, and more energy expended. At least this is what it feels like for me this year, although 2013 has only seen 1 month come to an end.
Work and family commitments have brought me to my feet at 5-plus in the mornings, at least 2 times per work week. This week has been especially hectic, and my body and mind are feeling the strain of keeping awake and functioning the entire day, after waking up to absolute darkness most mornings.
And I was feeling lonely, like I was carrying the immediate realities of juggling work, family and household on my bony shoulders (the only bony part of my body so indulge me) by myself.
Then Life has its happy surprises, to remind me that I am not alone.
This morning was like no other; I woke up feeling tired physically and mentally, and dreading the day ahead. Going through the essentials like a zombie, I dragged my leaden body out of the bathroom. I laid my envious eyes on the Man, wishing I was still snuggled warmly in bed, instead of starting the day in half darkness. The Man must have felt my dagger eyes, or it could have been the sound of the creaking bathroom door.
He stirred from his slumber, turned over on the bed and gave me a sleepy smile, a wave, and the sweetest “Good Morning!” I have heard in ages.
I was stunned into inaction, dumbly rooted to the ground, while tender emotions washed over me. Suddenly, I felt more alive, and the dark room seemed brighter. I smiled a big smile back, but the Man has fallen asleep again. Not that it mattered much; I was already feeling much better.
Before I left the house, I spied Megan sitting up on her bed in the darkness. I decided I could afford to be late, but I could not afford to lose the chance to wish my daughter a good morning, to kiss her soft cheeks. She stretched her long limbs while I nagged about her being a good girl today yada, yada. Having said my well rehearsed piece, I got up reluctantly to leave.
Just before I closed the door to my family, she ran to her bedroom door, and shouted a very loud “Goodbye MaMa!!!”, light from the corridor reflecting off her bright eyes.
Before I could shush her for fear of waking up Matthew and the Man, I heard an equally loud “Bye Bye MaMa!!!” emerge from Matthew’s bedroom, though I didn’t get to see him.
Abandoning all efforts to be quiet, I hollered goodbyes and love back to my kids, for they (and the Man) have made my day so much brighter.
Simple words, and the connectivity is back. I no longer feel I’m alone in the constant battle of daily grinds. I feel cared for, and loved. A shot of endorphines into my weary system, oh yeah!
Family and chocolate, my favourites!