Seeking Solace

It is afternoon, nap time for Matthew, Megan and the Man. The first 2 are down with HFMD; the third suspected, but definitely running a viral fever.

I should be catching up on rest too, but I find myself seeking solace in the peace of the house. Outside, the sun is beating down mercilessly on everything in its path. There is ceaseless noise from the various construction projects around the neighbourhood, and the traffic. Drilling, hammering, engine booms, drilling, hammering, tires screeching; these noises are preventing a light sleeper like me from getting some shut-eye. But I don’t mind.

This period is fast becoming my favourite time of the day; no “MaMa, I want/I don’t want”, whining, and demands from anybody. No interaction with anybody. It’s just me and my imagination. A time to right the unbalanced equilibrium a little; a time to be nobody but myself. Not taking on the role of a mother, daughter, wife, nurse, doctor, policeman, nothing.

Finding peace in writing, gathering my thoughts, looking within myself to find the strength to take on all the roles again when they wake up. With diminishing success that follows each passing day. And I wonder to myself: how much, and for how long, can a person give without taking back anything in return? Love is unconditional, that much is true. But should unconditional love be limitless too? I think not…

Peace is always shortlived; someone stirs, and is now awake. Goodbye me…

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