When Fuel Runs Low

I must admit, I have never been one who’s energetic and full of enthusiasm.

So I think I’m probably getting old for my age, as I cannot seem to replenish my energy despite a night’s rest. It doesn’t help matters that I am a light sleeper who needs at least 7-8 hours of sleep a day.

Thus, I have been feeling tired for a long, long time. My eyes feel leaden, my brain a block of wood and my head doesn’t feel well supported by my weak neck. All in all, I’m tired. Not sleepy, but tired.

Could this be because I have no time for myself? That I seem to be flitting between family, the Big One, the Little One and the house? So much so I cannot allocate enough quality time to those I hold dear, least of all myself?

I don’t know. There are probably ways to pamper myself, like going for massages and spas to drive the aches away from my weary muscles and bones, but I’m not financially sound for that sort of luxury. Lock myself in the room, with a good book and no contact with anybody at all? Unlikely, because there always seem to be nagging issues at the back of my mind.

If there is such a therapy as recharging oneself, I think I’m on the brink of desperation for that. As someone casually told me “Well, you always have a choice.” Yeah right, easier said than done.

What’d expect, that I just abandon everything and hide in my cave? Fat chance. Not that I’m indispensable or vital, just that I’d dread coming out of the cave to be greeted by mess and chaos, that I’d have to spend the energy I’ve just recharged to get everything back in order again.

I’m ranting I know, but this is my only outlet…

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