I read with painful stabbings to my heart and tearing eyes a blog I got from an April Mummy. I would have brawled my eyes out had I not been in the office.
After becoming a mother myself, there have been alot of changes, more emotionally than physically. I find myself feeling as only mothers will truly feel about motherhood and their flock. And realising I possess mental strength I never knew I am capable of.
But more evidently, I realise I:
1) smile more when I see adorable babies and children. My thoughts immediately go to the Little One.
2) feel sadder when I see other babies and children suffering. My thoughts again go to the Little One.
A package so small has the immense power to pull at all my heartstrings and occupy all my thoughts. To have me daydreaming about days way into the future and plunge me into lapses of depression. The Little One has brought me more happiness, laughter, longing, sadness, heartaches and white hairs than ever in my meagre years on Earth.
Which left me really sad and with an aching heart when I read about what the other pair of parents went through. Reading their blog left me counting my blessings, but at the same time terrified because life is so fragile, and every moment really counts.
It also made me pause and think about what a daughter I have been and still am to my own parents. The heartaches and pain they went through to bring me up. That they are still feeling the heartaches and pain and happiness and laughter and everything else because of me.
On one hand, the blog made whatever I’ve ever written on my own blog seem frivolous and insignificant. That the problems, heartaches and headaches are nothing. Boo.
On the other hand, experiences are my own to learn from, because this is the course of my life. I cannot start becoming dark in my thoughts and melancholic and pessimistic.
What I can do is to really treasure my family, Hubby, and the Little One, friends, work, experiences and memories I can still bring along through the journey called life as long as I can.