Depressing Friday

Feeling depressed today.

Exhausted at having to pump, pump, pump out milk and massaging. Terrified of another episode of engorgement, or worse still, infection because of blocked ducts.

I stink. Real bad. Can smell myself from miles away. Terrified of getting near others because they will smell me. Need the fan all the time. Binder is uncomfortably itchy.

Worst of all, my son doesn’t seem to recognise me or want to respond to me. Everytime I try to talk to him, he’ll start to cry. Dunno how to babble to him for long. And MIL doesn’t offer him for me to carry and I don’t dare to ask too. Moreover, I cannot attempt to play with him for long before I get tired and need a rest again.

Oh well, count my many blessings that I only need to take care of myself right now and leave everything (cooking, baby, housework, everything else) to my capable Mummy, MIL and Hubby. Can imagine those mums who have to do everything themselves. You have my deepest respect…

Endure, endure, endure…

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